


Diving into my mind

by Julia_Is_Not_Here



Category: Original Work
Genre: Mental Health Issues, Multi, Poetry, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:40:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26386549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julia_Is_Not_Here/pseuds/Julia_Is_Not_Here
Summary: Let's just say I've struggled a bit with my mental health for the past few years.During that time I've written a bunch of poems/proto-songs. Not all of them are specifically about my problems, but they all kinda reflect my mood at different times.*Also, I usually prefer writing in Spanish, but that's not the case for this specific work.And lets be honest, it's not like anybody's gonna read these XD
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	1. Event Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I made the painting first, then the lyrics.  
> Maybe I'll try to make it into a full song someday.

** **

_(painting: Event Horizon, made by me for some friends)_

A black sun behind the mountains

Alone, above some Death Valley.

But how did it all come to this?

Nothing makes sense to me. To me.

Stare hopelessly at the abyss

And the void stares back at me. Me.

Echo speaks what I want to hear.

Time slows around me. Around me.

Eternally.

And I'm falling,

Falling forever

And I'm torn apart,

I'm torn for good.

I wonder beneath the mountains

Alone, trough some Death Valley.

Tough I'm not the only one here,

We're not sure how it came to this

But we know there's no return

Nowhere to run, nowhere to run.

And we're falling,

Falling forever

And we're torn apart,

We're torn for good


	2. I'm (not) okey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I guess this has sort of a rap flow. Idk.

Sometimes I wish I could take my clock and go back in time

Rewrite my life from scratch or let them bury me in the ground

But I’m trapped here alone with the shadow inside my mind

‘Cause at some point, somehow, I ended up hating my life.

I still try to steer the ship, take the reins to change its course

But the harsh truth is I have no fucking clue where to go

And they years I’ve already lost, they will never come back,

I really don’t feel I felt love, I don’t feel I live life.

Is this what adulthood looks like? Hell, then you can keep it!

Won’t give up without a fight till’ I hear the bell ringing!

But life’s a heavy hitter and I feel myself knocked out

My mental health crumbles like pieces of a shattered glass.

Now I feel sick and empty, with my soul and mind broken

Cannot leave my own room without jumping like a rocket.

When greeting people I lie and tell them I’m alright,

Meaning: I am not okay, but you know, I’m still alive.


	3. Null

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was in a very dark place when I wrote this.  
> I've come a long way since.

I feel numb and my limbs are tired

My head barely above the water

I think I’m sinking.

Feel I can breathe only trough this page

I hold on to it like a life vest

Can’t keep writing.

And I think I may still be sinking

Don’t want to die, but’s strangely tempting

The idea of not existing.

Frustrated to a point

Where you don’t give a damn anymore.

What’s the point?

None.


	4. I am here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eventually I found there was some comforting corner in my mind. Not sure I can (or want to) explain it.

A heart and a beat

A fire burning within

And warmth I can feel

Melting the ice on my skin.

A light in the mist

A lighthouse out in the sea.

The light dries my tears

Builds me again from within.

I am here, I am here.

Are these childhood memories?

Or maybe this is me

Living right now and right here.

But…

What about tomorrow?


End file.
